Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
