dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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