as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
