Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
