even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She's the barista slut.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
