Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
