i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
