So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize