Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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