Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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