I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
