she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
