Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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