Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
