at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
