The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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