Plan B is the new Plan A
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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