Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
handjob tips. give me some.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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