i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
