Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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