This house was built for laser tag.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."