i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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