I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
