I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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