People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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