She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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