Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
