Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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