did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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