Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
