Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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