Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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