I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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