Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
