This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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