i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
