The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
