i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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