Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
