remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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