Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Someone came in the potted fern
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
