i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
