Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize