she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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