Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
