There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
