remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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