You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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