I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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