dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
