I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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