I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
