I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
