Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
