I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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