Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
