I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
