I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Sorry my hands just texted you
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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