all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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