and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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