Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I could make wine with my vomit
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
