I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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