drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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