Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
