and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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