1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
