And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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