Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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