I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize