I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
