Acid is not a monday night drug
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
